how astrocartography came into my life

note: this post is directly pulled from my 10/21/21 email newsletter without edits. if you would like to receive my weekly note in your inbox along with additional sections and features not included here, you can join my email community.

i know. it's been a minute. a three-months-long minute. life. a lot of life, life-ing. you already know.

i missed you and am very glad to be back in action with our weekly-ish situationship <3

tl;dr // your girl is offering 1:1 astrocartography readings publicly for the first time! you can learn more about these sessions and book a reading here.

some years ago, amidst what would become a decade in brooklyn, i found myself itching for the experience of living in a new city. it’s not that i felt done with new york, but i wanted a new experience. the question of where my next place was didn’t feel easy to answer, though; everywhere i had visited up until that point felt nice to visit but didn’t quite resonate in terms being somewhere i wanted to live. add to that, that there wasn’t really any specific place i felt clearly called to explore;

ask me where i wanted to travel to next, and i could throw out twenty different cities that i felt equally open to and curious about. i didn’t have a “paris” or dream city in mind;

and while on one end openness and flexibility can be very liberating, in this situation, my total lack of direction felt super confusing and frustrating. i’d tell people, “i want to try another place to live, but i’m going to have to travel a bit more to figure out where that might be.” the issue there became that i just didn’t have the capacity or funds to bounce around and travel like that to explore new cities.

it was just so weird. any time i checked in with my spirit about where i felt called to home-wise, all i could come up with was new york. yet simultaneously, i felt deeply intuitively called to embark on a new adventure, even if it were to be by virtue of a second home in addition to nyc. as confounding as this tension and lack of clarity was, i couldn’t shake these feelings and they continued to stay with me for years. not knowing what to do, i just sat with the discomfort, hoping one day an answer or a sign in the right direction would come.

enter astrocartography. in summer 2017, i had the opportunity to photograph the astrotwins’ personal astrology retreat in tulum. during one of their lectures, they in passing mentioned a lesser known type of astrology called astrocartography— the astrology of place. i was like, “um, excuse me? you telling me that astrology can tell me what kinda vibes i might catch at different places all around the world? do you understand that you may have just solved my entire life with this offhand remark? do you even know?”

it was the clue that i’d been quietly waiting for.

so i went to the free astrocartography site they suggested and entered in my birth data (birth date, birth time, birth place). and it generated this wild ass visual with zillions of longitudinal lines across the world map. these lines represented the various energies available to me in different places.

so many vibes. all the vibes.

in its full glory, my astrocartography map looked like the image below. my brain basically overheated and melted when i first saw it.

it. is. a. lot.

a lot, a lot.

like, it’s almost disrespectful.

but also, omg, so much juicy info when you learn how to break down how this shit works!!

some of you might recognize the glyphs at the top of the screen capture as astrological planetary symbols. for the rest of y’all, you wanna know what the entire fuck is happening here, huh?

in astrology, each planet holds a unique set of qualities and presides over different themes in our lives. in astrocartography, each line on your personal map represents one of these planetary energies.

for example, the pink line on this map is for jupiter, which relates to joy, expansion, wisdom, and multiculturalism, amongst other things. the dark green line is for venus, which speaks to relationships, romance, the arts, and beauty. the black line with the “P” symbol is for pluto, which is all about death and rebirth, transformation, alchemy, and power. the light green line is for mercury, which represents how we think and communicate (speaking, writing) as well as our more mentally oriented psychic senses and intuitions. other planets covered on our map include saturn, mars, neptune, uranus, chiron, north node, moon, and sun.

the simplest and most straightforward way we can explore your astrocartography map is to pick a city that is calling to you or that you’re curious about (could even be your current city!) and then check out what planetary lines are running near that place. the story told by the energies of these lines will then tell you what you can potentially expect to experience there!

there are many more ways you can gain insights from astrocartography, which i’ve broadly outlined on my site, if you’re curious. you can also stay tuned to this space, as i’ll soon be further illustrating the various types of questions you can explore using this art form.

so what happened after i nearly passed out from overwhelm upon first seeing my map? obsession. pure unadulterated obsession. my virgo sun, virgo mercury, scorpio moon ass stuck the fuck with it until i understood what was what and was no longer overwhelmed.

and naturally, i now have a very systematic yet fluid way in how i approach readings. over the years, i have pored probably over a hundred hours on my own map as well as the maps of people in my immediate community. i also took a course and did a little reading, but to be honest— my readings are primarily intuitively led, which both i and my clients actually love.

soooo, yeah. a whole fun journey! a journey about journeys! i’m super excited to share this practice with you :)

i really love seeing how people light up at just how fascinating and eerily on point this work can be. it can be a really beautiful affirmation for intuitive hunches you may have about given places and can also help contextualize your life in a way that just makes things easier to digest. often, i find there’s a sweet comfort that astrocartography can bring.

i hope we'll get to share in that sweetness together sometime.

remembering your light.

lightbeam
sunstream;
yes, you.
yes, you.

lightwork is shadow work. shadow work is lightwork.

in oneness, we are not separate from seemingly dual concepts or from one another; all exists at once simultaneously in wholeness— a continuous flow of becoming and unbecoming.

choose your light. even in shame, even in anger, even in fear.

use it to offer yourself perspective, including a reminder of your true essence and why you exist.

allow its sweetness and gentleness to enrich and fortify your journey ahead.

and just the same— allow it to illuminate your shadows and ours.

there is joy in truth, even when it hurts.

note: this post is far from an invitation to spiritually bypass— please read carefully.

taking credit for our gifts

my virtues
are not merits
i have personally derived;
they are gifts.

people have often told me how they admire how self aware i am and how committed i am to “doing the work.” sometimes as they marvel in awe. there was a time where i pridefully took all credit for this. but as i evolved in my overall awareness, i realized that self awareness and doing the work are largely not a choice for me— it is how i am wired. these are tools and gifts that i have been given.

it dawned on me that the way “ignorance is bliss” for some, ignorance usually results in sheer torture for me; my hyper self awareness persists through all seasons, regardless of what my ego wants. being aware and tuned to the vibration of truth— often painfully so— is my default.

and so, my self-work is often the result of my desperate attempt to resolve some ever present suffering i’ve been unable to silence and suppress. and even when i do succeed at some version of suppression, the truth remains in the back of my mind along with deep unhappiness.

simultaneously, i recognize that i get to take credit for rising to the challenge and making the decision to do the work. because even despite my nature, i can still decide to opt out; there is plenty of work i trade for the familiar comfort of my suffering; these are my edges, i’m working on them— also often by eventual force and compulsion.

the universe ultimately always kicks my ass out of my limiting habituation— just as it is in this new decade. much death is happening to make way for a rebirth i’ve been hiding from for the last few years.

all this to say: often what we pridefully claim as our self-derived virtues are actually gifts. these gifts are here to help us realize our full potential so we can be of service. not so we can be delusional, self-important, holier than thou assholes. i ain’t special. i just got some tools (that i have a complicated relationship with) for the purpose of my soul mission, which, by the way, isn’t even about me— it’s about us.

slow suicide

chronically delaying gratification
is akin to waiting for death;
if you're still breathing,
remember that you deserve happiness
right now.

i’m really good at this.

“i’ll be happy when…”

“i’ll let myself have fun after…”

“i’ll hang out with people once…”

“i’ll give myself some credit upon the completion of…”

…this ever-elusive constantly shifting benchmark.

i certainly don’t have this figured out but fuck this whole entire shit, really. i can’t remember how she put it, but in her memoir, shonda rhimes basically described not really living life as ‘slow suicide.’ sadly, i relate. it’s been a challenge i’ve had most of my life.

inevitably, i think about this idea in relation to now. it feels even more relevant. but there’s probably a split-mindedness for a lot of us:

“right now is the time to put in work to survive, it isn’t the time to find joy. i don’t have the space or the luxury.”

“i don’t know what’s what, so maybe all i can give myself right now are little joys. wait, is that frivolous and privileged and irresponsible?”

i’m going to get morbid now, so bear with me if you can, because i’m going to bring it all together for our higher good.

in the beginning, i followed the news for covid a lot and then mostly stopped because it got overwhelming. one thing i found in my initial research that has become increasingly clear along the way is this: the virus is unlike anything we’ve seen and as much as we think we understand it, in many ways we don’t. we are constantly learning new, often paradoxical things about the virus, who’s at risk, its prevention, its treatment.

‘it’s spread by respiratory droplets. uh, it’s also airborne. oh yeah, so, you can also bring it inside with your shoes.’

‘build up your immunity— wait— but not too much because your immune system might attack itself while fighting off the virus (cytokine storm).’

‘it’s really only affecting folks 50-60+ and people with pre-existing health conditions— younger folks, children, and pregnant women should be cool. jk, this virus could put anyone in critical or fatal condition and we’re not sure how or why.”

‘take ibuprofen to treat your symptoms— actually, hold on— it could make things worse.’

‘liquor stores are an essential business. so yeah, alcohol might aggravate the virus.’

we’re all vulnerable. this virus could quite literally kill any one of us and there’s only so much we can do about it from a physical standpoint. with all the incomplete and shifting information, we’re somewhat left to our own intuition and devices when deciding on appropriate care for ourselves. science is crucial but it’s got its work cut out for it at the moment.

the material realm is showing us its limits. for me personally, there is no greater signal to tap into the unseen for strength and wisdom. there is no greater call to surrender control while simultaneously reclaiming our sovereign power as truly magical beings.

part of that magic is practicing expanding our view to transcend the 3d reality sometimes, if we can. not in a spiritual bypass kind of way, but in a grounded and self-empowered way: holding the severity of this situation in sight while also knowing that you are a miracle— periodT— and contain infinite possibility.

it’s beyond heartbreaking right now. but here we are. still here. we are the lucky ones. let’s not take that for granted, if at all possible. part of our magic is that we can create more magic, joy, love, health from dust. from nothingness. because it is what we are. we are allowed the magnificence of ourselves at anytime, every time, regardless of the circumstances of our lives. you are allowed to be happy right now— even if a split second is all you can muster.

gratitude?

you know how everyone’s been talking about being mad grateful for what they do have right now? i didn’t really relate— and still don’t always— when folks talk about gratitude. i felt and still sometimes feel shame for ‘being an ungrateful ass.’

here’s the thing: honesty with your emotions is super important right now (and in general). it can be hard to connect with gratitude when you are trying to survive in your own right, when you are ANGRY, when you feel betrayed, confused, resentful, lost, abandoned. by the system, for starters.

some of us are anxious, depressed, barely functional and just trying to hold it together. that’s okay. lovingly and gently witness that without wallowing in it. there is a difference. remain aware, compassionate, and PERSIST. you *will* ultimately move through.

our journeys and feelings that come with are relative to self. always remember that when you try to judge yourself and compare.

gratitude is absolutely a valuable and powerful practice, but if you’re not connecting with it, that is perfectly alright. you can try again later— or not. many paths, y’all.

if you don’t feel gratitude right now, allow the other emotions that are currently present within you to exist. don’t go into shame if you can help it— shame actually happens to be the least supportive emotion. if you’re in shame, witness that compassionately as well. we’ve all been there.

feel like screaming or taking a very long nap or both? i’m tired, too. you’re allowed to be fucking pissed.

anger is a catalyst and can be a turning point if consciously harnessed. anger is also recognized as the beginnings of change on the hawkins scale, which measures the relative energetic frequencies of emotions.

the point is to not *stay* angry or in our lower vibrational emotions. we get to use such emotions instead as an opportunity to learn more about ourselves and practice self-compassion. from here, we begin to find our way through— and beyond. to our true selves, to our peace.

best/worst.

your worst and best work

have more in common with each other

than with everything in between.

best/worst. two sides of the same coin. passion and truth expressed are often met with polarity. we make that polarity mean a lot and often allow it to fracture us.

the content of the polarity does not necessarily matter. that polarity occurred is what to note. it means you have stirred souls. your work has met its vibrational directive in helping shift the collective— whether or not people are aware or accept this.

creativity is so subjective, so personal, spiritual. yet we judge it, critique it, categorize it. who and what is the decider? what determines the worth and veracity of our work?

can “bad” work be good? be truth? be actually not bad and instead great in its badness? who is it bad to and why? are you bad? did you do bad? did you fail? i think you won because you created.

creation is a statement to the universe. creation is presence. it is a striving and an aliveness that is unlike any other human experience. creation is saying yes, being yes. being. how is that bad?

how is everything that we put ourselves into not valuable and important? all shades of subjectivity are moot if creativity and work are proof of our aliveness and our truth striving to be expressed.

each output, each iteration is information; a window into ourselves, our connectivity, and the world around us. in creating, we are learning to know ourselves and everything more. is there a worst knowing? to me, knowing is always best— even when it hurts.
.
“good” and “bad” might not be as different as we thought; both are subject to being distilled to the is-ness of everything. in creating, i am here. in creating, i am.

i am. i am. i am.

living inside yourself

home is everywhere

when you live inside yourself.

i release all attachments and call my energy back from people, places, spaces, times, dimensions, and things where i’ve given my energy away. i call *all* of my energy back and return to my body. i am in my body. i am home, i am safe, and i am whole.

your relationship with self should be the sweetest one; find ease, knowing, and love within yourself, and your cup will run over with more of the same everywhere you go.

empty spaces stay empty.

people, food, sleep, tv, internet, social media scrolling, podcasts, music, books, shopping, sex, alcohol, drugs...

any person, thing, or activity can be empty if it is not what’s in true alignment for you in a given moment. it doesn’t matter whether or not the object of your attention is toxic or unhealthy— escapism is still escape; it’s still distraction, diversion of your attention from some sort of truth you are avoiding or maybe even actively running from. i feel you, i feel you so much.

what are all the ways you are escaping yourself? how are you hiding from the quiet space that appears when you just *stop*? that place where you’re forced to sit with your truth, your thoughts, your fears, your insecurities, your unanswered questions, and all your other unresolved edges?

you already know that everything you ignore is still alive, manifesting in an array of shades in your life— no matter how far you push yourself down. so the question becomes:

would you rather be perpetually teetering, running after yourself cleaning up arbitrary messes as you juggle the storm of your life— or could you be open to greeting the storm within so your life might meet an ease and joy greater than you could ever imagine?

on surviving.

those who survive

are given grace

not by accident;

with survival

comes responsibility.

been on my mind heavy for something like a year now. still relevant. there are many meanings here.

one: we all still get to be here for a very specific reason. a purpose, which in some way includes service to humanity. do not squander your blessings, your gifts, and the responsibility that comes with.

you are a miracle.

every day you wake up

make the choice to believe

i am an abundant miracle.

all the body is and does. perfect harmony. every day. without a thought.

the miracle of the mind and everything it gives. the blessing of clear faculties. of mundane function.

the wonder of it all weaving together for us— body, mind, spirit— day in and day out. our containers are mighty and fragile, everything and nothing all at once.

the sagas of our minds, conditioning, and to do lists can become distractions from the profound daily gift of what we are;

you *are.* and therefore you are a magnificent, abundant miracle. you are the proof, the testimony, the question and the answer.

love you. <3

opt out of the game

the matrix is real. meaning, much of what we experience is unreal. how do we contend with this in a physical reality?

i have more to say about this, and a lot of things, really. but the timing of when i feel called to share is everything— and i don’t feel like breaking down my insights and inner workings very often. i know folks find it helpful and after i’ve written something out, i find it rewarding for myself as well. but what about my personal peace and honoring my flow— even when it’s inconvenient and prohibitive?

yet still, what about wanting all that while also wanting to be seen and to make a living from my ideas and expressions?

ego doesn’t trust the flow, i know that much. ego wants sense. ego wants instant gratification. ego wants proof. reason. promises. guarantees. ego gets uncomfortable and pissed and confused and insecure and questioning everything real fast.

this online realm— where our ideas and we ourselves seemingly cease to exist unless we publish them— creates a lot of tension, discord, and dissonance within me. sometimes i feel like the internet wants me sucked dry for all i have to give and i’ll just lie there lifeless getting stepped over while the world continues to spin on.

a very reasonable possibility, if i allow my ego to drive and don’t check my priorities.

some thoughts on balance, tending to my truth, and ultimately— opting out of the game, on all levels. <3

unconditional love is a mirrored room.

unconditional love is

a mirrored room;

reflecting outward

only to

reveal inward

a remembrance of self.

in fully, wholeheartedly loving others without condition or pretense, everything begins to collapse into itself and just is. there is an opening, and in it is a reflection back to the beholder of their true nature and essential self; there is no self, there is just one.

you were made to breathe easy

watch a sleeping baby breathe, and you’ll notice their belly effortlessly rise and fall with each inhale and exhale— it’s automatic. babies naturally breathe deeply.

who cares about deep breathing? stress relief cares, for one.

and oxygen isn’t just to keep us alive, either; like water, an ample supply is needed to keep our biological systems running as they should.

breath is also our first line to replenishing our life force energy. breath it is our birthright.

the traumas and stresses of life eventually bring most of us out of our natural deep breathing flow, and as a result, we typically become shallow breathers— even breath holders— as we grow older. no bueno. good news is that we can re-train ourselves to breathe abundantly!

know how singers are trained to sing from their diaphragms and not their throats? similarly, deep breath comes from the diaphragm and has a few names: diaphragmatic breathing, abdominal breathing, or belly breathing.

fun: i’ve been told that one of the reasons the buddha statues often have a large belly is to indicate all the abundant life force he held. clearly from all that good ass breathing.

alright, so for those of you who want to try some good ass breathing. lie down, get real cozy, and put your hand on your belly. imagine you are filling up the ballon that is your belly. practice inhaling slowly, feeling your belly expand, and then exhaling slowly, feeling your belly contract. play with seeing how far you can fill your belly up.

you might notice that as your belly is expanding and contracting, your chest is also automatically rising and falling along with it to a certain extent. on that note, here’s a second version to try: 

put one hand on your belly and the other on your chest. now on a big long inhale,  first fill up your belly, then your abdomen / rib cage area, and then your chest. they’ll all kind of fluidly rise along with one another, becoming most pronounced once you intentionally reach each respective point. slowly on the exhale, begin the release of air in your belly, then your abdomen, and finally your chest; feel them collapse as you go along.

the first time i did the second breathing exercise for about 10+ minutes, i felt super relaxed and high off of the oxygen— my body had become unaccustomed to that much oxygen!

soon after that first experience, i began using this deep breathing technique when i wanted to inquire about something with my higher self; it’s a really great way to deeply relax, quiet my mechanical mind, and make way for my subconscious / higher self to speak.

if you’re looking for a deeper dive into a similar deep breathing method, look up “pranic breathing.” last time i checked, there’s a book and an audio guide.

the more we practice deep breathing, the more that information is strengthened in both our conscious and subconscious, which makes it more possible for such breathing to begin to occur on its own. whether practiced more formally during a designated time period, on the fly whenever we remember, or in a stressful moment, it's all valuable.

now go get the life force, health, and wisdom that's yours to claim. <3

synchronicity in artistic thought

i texted the above phrase to my new friend joel about a week ago. days later, he retweeted his year old tweet with the exact same words. what a gift to so precisely share a wavelength with someone. joel concurred.

creativity is an interesting thing. i think because it can feel so personal, emotional, and intimate, we sometimes presume a rather rigid ownership over our works by believing that we have singularly created them.

though my creativity manifests via many paths, i've found that much of my short-form writing comes from ideas, thoughts, or phrases just “popping” into my head. over the last few years, it’s got me thinking about musicians who say that the music ‘just comes through them.’ i get it now and recognize these phenomena as a channeling of sorts;

whether consciously or not, i believe we are channeling from our interweb of mass consciousness, which i believe to ultimately be a single, unitary thing. in this way, i’m understanding that when we really get down to it, creative works don’t really belong to anyone; if anything, they belong to all of us. creativity, i believe, is the process of going into our collective psyche and materially illuminating truths that already exist inside our shared energetic body.

obviously, this act of channeling, expressing, and materializing is still a labor and an immeasurable service to our society. artists should still be paid well and credited for their work, boundaries should be respected. and while there is certainly exploitation and intentional plagiarism, all this does make me wonder about our often automatic insistence that duplicate works must imply an intentional “copying” and a necessary villain.

that two or more people can come to similar ideas or even the exact same one, for me, goes beyond a shared inspiration or someone's subconscious drawing from previous exposure; i believe people can independently come to the exact same point simply and purely because we are drawing from the same place that we all equally “own” and all equally are— our collective consciousness.

i’ll continue percolating on what i think this means for the creative industry. until then, i think we could be nicer to each other sometimes.

so— open hearts, y’all? <3

a very detailed review of healthyline crystal mats (my new bff)

update! (6/6/21)

• my code for 10% off & free shipping is back in action!

• enter this code for 10% off and free shipping on any healthyline product: SEHER10S

• on that note, if the mat that i talk about in this review happens to be out of your price range, here are some tips:

  • there are all kinds of sizes available and the smaller mats are way less monies

  • the tao line: know that any of the mats from the tao line will give the same effect (if with PEMF) or a very similar effect (if without PEMF) as the model i mention in this article.

  • the taj line: the mats from the taj line will also deliver a similar experience as the TAO series. to note, when i sampled a TAJ mat, the experience felt relaxing while also a bit stimulating/energizing— for me. everyone’s experience may differ some.

the beginning of an odyssey

listen. this post is an odyssey. there’s something for everyone:

• backstory with some drama (including why i am “meh” about biomat)

• short summary on what healthyline’s crystal-bed therapy mats can do

• by feature breakdown for the nerds

• v cool testimonials from me and a few friends

• in store free trial info for nyc folks

• special discount + free shipping code

• and everything else you never knew you wanted

i did it for you— so someone who has never heard of healthyline or inframat pro or gemstone therapy or far-infrared therapy or negative ion therapy or PEMF before can conceivably get a solid, well-rounded, and grounded understanding of “what this all is”— even if this blog post is all you ever read on the subject.

it’s also a whole lot easier to send my friends to this blog post than recount all of this over and over to everyone i want to tell— that’s a lot. hi, friends :)

to help make reading breezy, i’ve separated everything out by sections. feel free to skip around in whichever way suits you!

the mystical mats no one knew how to describe

earlier this year, i kept hearing people rave about something called the “biomat” on wellness podcasts. their exaltations of what sounded like a glorified yoga mat were totally vague and decidedly emphatic; it was like this cult secret that completely mystified me and simultaneously low-key enraged me— people could not speak clearly about this thing for the life of them.

my initial google searches yielded descriptions just as vague and further maddened me: i did not understand how people could love a thing so much and not have yet figured out how to articulate the thing. as i write this, i realize that in judgily talking about the ridiculousness of things that evade definition, i could easily be describing love itself— so, touché— but also whatever, i was annoyed.

eventually, i go in for a deep dive google session and it becomes clear that the company that makes the biomat is a multi-level marketing situation (aka MLM) and that’s why all the websites that sell them looked shady as shit. as a creative professional who has designed a handful of websites in her day, i will judge the cover of your website or book or whatever else you are using to sell your stuff. i will also buy your crappy gluten-free crackers if the packaging looks good. i digress.

in this search, i also discover that there’s this other company called healthyline that uses more advanced technology, has a wild variety of mats, sells the comparable (and better) version of the biomat for almost half the price, is not MLM, and has a website that doesn’t look like it was made on geocities in 1994. i was also finally able to read a bit of literature on what the frick these kinds of mats do. and as fate would have it, healthyline had a brick and mortar showroom in manhattan.

my two-hour goldilocks scenario at healthyline

at this point, i feel like i want a mat thingie though i’m not fully sure why (i’d become one of those people). but of course being the responsible adult i am, i needed to try this magical wellness device before sealing the deal— and then save for months to actually get it. i thought i was going to swing in for an efficient 30-minute drop-in situation. for those who know me: though i can be short and sweet if i absolutely must, brevity is not my natural state of being.

i ended up at the store for something like two hours, quickly learning that the comparable mat i was seeking was pretty cool and all, but it didn’t hold a candle to healthyline’s newer tech. i sampled three of these fancier mats in their trial area one by one and then cycled back again to compare my experiences. having my sun and mercury both in virgo (aka gimme all the details for all of life), i made sure my conversation with the brilliant salesperson, ana maria, was thorough. engaging with a customer who was sensitive to energy and also able to narrate the nuance of her experience made it a unique encounter for ana maria as well; we both had a really nice time nerding out and trading thoughts.

we were vibing so well that at one point ana maria asked if i could write down something i’d just said about my experience so the company could use the quote in their marketing. ever the businesswoman (who was also trying to get herself a mat ASAP), i was like, “actual-ly…” and here we are.

personal reflections on the tao 8040

first impressions

the mat that i fell in love with at the showroom was hands down the TAO 8040. in fact, the second mat i’m receiving as part of my partnership with healthyline will also be a TAO and will go to my mom.

quick note that when i speak of the TAO series going forward, i am speaking of the versions that are listed as “firm” on healthyline’s site; the firm models are the ones with PEMF— more on that later.

for those who know what it feels like to reach a place of ease and flow while meditating, you might get what i mean when i say that

it felt like the mat was meditating me when i first tried it.

i feel like all i had to do was lie down and be open to being relaxed— and the rest was just done for me. the relaxation i experienced was deep. it felt like was being enveloped in a warm, gentle hug. the come-down from the hyperactivity of my mind was easeful and kind— it didn’t demand anything of me.

underlying the feelings of peace, calm, and balance, was profound grounding and stabilizing. as someone who often lives in my head, i felt back in my body with a starkly present sense of renewal; i suspected that i had been re-centered to what was probably meant to be my natural equilibrium. immediately, i knew this device could be major in helping my anxiety and disembodiment.

what two and a half months of home use look like

when i first received the TAO for my home, my intention was to use it as a way to get myself to meditate for 30-ish min at the start or finish of each day. the way that my discipline is set up these days though, that’s not quite how things went down.

the mat i have is 40 pounds— it’s crushed crystals, after all; so once i’d set it down in an open area next to my bed, i decided that’s where it would live. and turns out that’s where i’ve lived for the last two and half months as well; i’ve slept on the floor on the mat almost every night, save just a handful of times— and i have a very nice actual bed. to note, i could totally put my mat on my bed (with help) or i could have opted for the queen-sized TAO to live on my bed full-time, but i’m weird.

it was interesting timing actually, because i was going through a pretty intense phase of insomnia around then. since moving to new york eight years ago, i’ve on and off had major insomnia— i’m talking going to sleep at 3, 4, 5, even 6am onward when it gets really bad. the two parts that play into perpetuating my insomnia are 1) trouble forcing myself to physically go to bed, and 2) trouble actually falling sleep once i’m in the bed— sometimes it takes hours just to fall asleep.

the TAO has offered me such grace when it comes to my insomniac bedtime woes. though getting into the bed is still a test of will, once i’m on that cozy warm mat, falling asleep is not an issue anymore. sometimes it even helps me feel more rested than i would otherwise on less sleep.

on a recent night, i got to my mat-bed in a particularly stressed out and buzzy mindframe and wasn’t falling asleep as easily. i got a bit worried. and somehow suddenly, i found myself looking back at my mania realizing it had faded slightly; little by little, i felt the mat slowly coaxing off the layers and soon enough, i was at ease and asleep.

because you need to “preheat” the mat to your desired temperature, i don’t normally fire it up in the middle of the day. but a couple weeks ago, i came home super pissed and depleted and decided to take an afternoon nap. it took me a minute to chill out, even on the mat, but eventually it did bring me down and comfort me. i’ve got to say that comfort— this “there, there” feel as your nervous system chills out— is a major thing i’ve received from the TAO.

my nightly routine

it takes about an hour to preheat the TAO 8040 to its highest setting, so when i get up to preheat my mat every evening, i’m also making an intention for my bedtime. i opt for the high heat to really help me relax and shed the physical and mental stress of the day. having those moments to really feel my aches come alive as they respond to the heat remind me that i’m alive, that i have a body, and i need to pay attention to it more. then after 20-30 minutes, i turn the heat down to a safe temperature for sleeping and pretty quickly knock out. 

it’s kind of a miracle compared to what i was dealing with right before i got the mat. in fact, i think that’s why i’ve slept on it every night— because falling asleep without it feels like it could be a crapshoot. to that end, one of the nights that i felt like i wanted to sleep on my bed, i wound myself down on the mat first and then quickly got into bed so i could ride that relaxation wave into sleep.

a formal-ish summary of benefits

broadly, the various mats under healthyline’s “inframat pro” umbrella can be used for supporting general wellness, balancing one’s biological systems, and detoxification. as a more targeted treatment tool, the mats can be used for pain and symptom management for a variety of illnesses and conditions. 

one of the seemingly universal effects of many of these mats, especially those in the TAO series, is deep relaxation and anxiety relief. better sleep, improved mood, and a general sense of wellbeing are also benefits that many, if not most people, are likely to experience.

for those who are wellness practitioners, a healthyline mat could prove a useful addition to your place of practice. as we know, a relaxed body-mind is more receptive to bodywork and wellness treatments such as acupuncture, reiki, massage, and beyond; this receptivity could also open way for deepening the work in a given session.

the concept of receptivity is especially interesting when we look at it from the vantage point of brainwaves. the TAO, for example, can help bring a person into high theta or low alpha brainwave states— those present in deep relaxation, meditation, immediately upon waking, and just before falling asleep. these are known as receptive states and are ideal for healing work because the mechanical mind is quieted, and the subconscious becomes more present, activated, and malleable for clearing and shifting energetic patterning that no longer serves.

because the TAO is layered with so many different therapies— gemstone, far-infrared, negative ion, and PEMF— its possible benefits are not only vast, they also hold the potential to be mutually supportive. collectively, the therapies in the TAO can help harmonize one back to their natural human biorhythm, promote blood circulation, facilitate oxygenation of tissues + the brain, help energize + repair cells, assist repair of nerves + tissues + bones, reduce inflammation, and generally support the repair and maintenance of a variety of foundational biological systems. this upgrade and harmonization of one’s physiology can then in turn can alleviate symptoms of various illness.

notes on wellness consumerism

and even with all the potential benefits, i find it imperative to say that it’s important to be abundantly mindful when it comes to wellness-related purchases. as we’ve all hopefully heard in some way or another by now, having all the crystals in the world won’t “save” us— it’s the inner work and leading a healthy lifestyle that counts the most. various tools can absolutely help us along our process, significantly even; but if we aren’t addressing root causes, we’ll simply find ourselves perpetually treating symptoms. while this can get more complicated when we’re talking about chronic issues, the importance of minding root cause the best you can still holds. so while these mats can offer profound benefits, let this serve as a loving reminder to keep an honest perspective of your personal situation, your motivations, and your intentions when considering this or any wellness product or service.

my friends have a moment

over the course of these last couple months, i had a few friends over to try my TAO 8040. here’s what it was like for them:

ashleigh came with me to the healthyline showroom for my second visit. this was before i received the mat for my home; i was excited to share my experience with a friend who i thought would appreciate the mat. per usual, ashleigh had been non-stop traveling and working. i think she’d maybe arrived on a flight to nyc the night before and hadn’t really slept at all. she told me that her experience on the TAO helped compensate for her lack of rest notably and as someone who has to regularly manage her anxiety, it was most relaxed she’d felt in a long time. to boot, she said it was one of the most relaxing things she’d ever done.

melissa ended up being the very first person on my own mat (before even me) after she mentioned being in chronic pain from plantar fasciitis. she’d recently completed the topaz surgery and was in physical therapy showing marginal improvement with her pain and mobility. at the time, she shared that her experience on the mat was the most effective thing so far in alleviating her pain. melissa shares directly:

my condition has required pills, surgery, and physical therapy three times a week just to be managed. there have been days in which I couldn’t walk a couple blocks to my subway stop without limping. yet after only a blissful hour on the mat, i was immediately able to feel a difference. tendons in my foot that are usually extremely tight were pliable, and the next day i was able to do yoga poses that I haven’t been able enjoy in over a year. don’t get me wrong— the mat isn’t a magic bullet. recovery from any chronic pain condition is long and slow, and requires concerted effort. but the mat may just hold space for you in a way allows that recovery to happen.

isaac was hanging out during melissa’s session and decided to try out the mat for a quick second. when he was done, he was so chill that he had to take a minute to reorient himself to the room. he also thought he was on it for 15 minutes when he was was actually out for 45.

boyuan came over to take a break from the trauma of being amidst displacement from her home; she recounted, “i was in a space of total rage, and within minutes, the mat redistributed my energy throughout my body, and evened me out; specifically, there was a lot of heat in my head, and that was redistributed and also dissipated. i was brought into a relaxed state pretty quickly, and was able to find my breath again. it also grounded me— i could feel that in my feet.”

cara hopped onto the mat for an impromptu session before our friend date with boyuan. she shared, “i couldn’t believe that i could feel the energetic vibrations through my entire body. it was both relaxing and renewing. it was the first time i could lay on my back comfortably without incredible pain in my shoulder caused by a labral tear. it was also great for meditation. i would highly recommend it to anyone seeking relaxation or relief from an injury.”

broadly breaking down individual therapies

the model i chose, the TAO 8040, combines a few different therapies into one mat. below is a high level recap of some potential benefits of each therapy and a bit about how they all work. to note, most healthyline mats contain at least a couple of these therapies. creating this part felt like writing a term paper and took the longest, but i did it because i really want to make this information as accessible as possible for you. and now this can be a reference for me to look back on for quick facts myself!

gemstone therapy (via tourmaline, amethyst, and obsidian)

• the TAO 8040 contains

  • 17 lbs crushed amethyst

  • 2 lbs crushed tourmaline

  • 2 lbs crushed obsidian

• the foundational mechanism for delivering far-infrared rays and negative ions are the crystals (or gemstones) contained in each mat

• in addition to the therapies these crystals help produce, the heated stones themselves promote blood circulation and relief of muscle and joint pain a la “hot stone therapy”

• proper blood circulation supports essential bodily functions by allowing oxygen and nutrients to be efficiently delivered to our organs

• for those of us otherwise familiar with crystals, we also know that crystals alone provide powerful body-mind and metaphysical benefits of their own. some of the hallmark virtues of each stone in the TAO:

• tourmaline: grounding; purifying— protects from and clears lower-vibratory energies (including challenging emotions) within and without; promotes vitality, mental clarity, & self-confidence

• obsidian: grounding & centering; purifying— protects from and clears lower-vibratory energies (including challenging emotions) within and without; brings forth truth

• amethyst: one of the most versatile healing crystals with a huge array of benefits; soothes nervous system & relieves anxiety; balances emotions; protects from and transmutes lower-vibratory energies within and without; invites inner wisdom & higher understanding; supports various physical functions & general health

far-infrared therapy

• far-infrared helps revitalize the human body in a way similar to photosynthesis

• fun fact: sunlight serves as our natural daily source of far infrared rays

• far-infrared promotes general wellness. can help:

• calm and alleviate stress

• reduce fatigue, improve focus, and increase energy levels

• improve quality of sleep

• far-infrared supports the function of the body’s various systems, depending on where applied, by:

• increasing blood circulation

• promoting oxygenation

• relieving inflammation

• natural detoxification: reducing water retention and eliminating metals 

  • particularly when the TAO is used to create a sauna-like experience with a mylar/foil blanket over the body

• far-infrared is cool for pain relief!

• helps relieve pain and stiffness in muscles and joints

• reported to help alleviate discomfort associated with arthritis, lower back pain, muscle spasms, everyday aches, sprains, and strains

• unlike traditional heating pads that only reach the surface of the skin, far-infrared heat penetrates 4-6 inches into the body, allowing for deep tissue and muscle relaxation

negative ion therapy

• negative ions are in nature and our every day lives

• we’re surrounded by feel-good negative ions in the mountains, the forest, and in even greater quantities near large bodies of water like lakes, beaches, and waterfalls

• more accessible everyday sources of negative ions include steamy showers and thunderstorms, with both leave us feeling refreshed as a result of this exposure

• negative ions promote general wellness and help to:

• lift our mood and energy

• relax and de-stress

• oxygenate the brain and clear the mind

• improve the quality of sleep

• detoxify the body and improve its function

• purify air in an environment

• facilitate clear and optimal breathing function

• normalize serotonin levels

• nourish the bloodstream

• positive ions are not the good ones

• positive ions are produced by the technology of our daily lives (laptops, mobile phones, laundry machines, hair dryers, fluorescent lights, etc) as well as environmental contaminants like toxins, allergens, viruses, pollution, and dust

• a prevalence of positive ions will reduce the amount of negative ions in the same environment, a common quandary of modern life, especially in cities

• too many positive ions and thus too few negative ions can contribute to:

  • getting sick more often

  • lethargy and decreased productivity

  • low mood

  • headaches

• more negative ions can help combat and reduce the positive ions in your body and your environment

• negative and positive ions attract one other and cancel each other out

• the result of less positive ions and more negative ions serves to reduce harm and increase healing

PEMF (pulsed electromagnetic field) therapy

• what is PEMF and how does it work?

• the electromagnetic fields (EMFs) most commonly cautioned against are the kind produced by man-made things like wifi routers, power lines, mobile phones, household appliances, and other electrically charged devices

• not all electromagnetic fields are bad; for example, the earth, the sun, and the human body each naturally produce electromagnetic fields

• healthyline mats containing pulsed electromagnetic field (PEMF) technology are tuned to 7.8hz and deliver this frequency via a pulsed sinusoidal waveform

• 7.8hz is the same frequency of the earth, which also closely matches the human biorhythm

• recognizing this parallel offers insight into why setting our feet on the earth has such a deeply grounding and stabilizing effect on us; we can also see why exposing ourselves to this frequency via a healthyline mat could have a similar impact

• by increasing the spin of electrons and creating impact on a cellular level, PEMF works to restore, improve, and maintain the body’s function holistically

• PEMF fun facts:

• healthyline holds the sole patent for offering far-infrared therapy together with PEMF therapy in a single gemstone mat experience

• NASA uses PEMF therapy to help its astronauts reacclimate to earth and heal from the impact of residing in a non-native environment (aka space)

• overall, PEMF can help:

• heal the dysregulation of our systems caused by everyday exposure to EMFs via electronics by clearing out their interfering frequencies

• support overall wellbeing by stimulating individual cells and restoring them to proper function

• relax the nervous system while simultaneously improving vitality

• reduce pain, stiffness, and swelling

  • including from new injuries, surgery, and minor chronic conditions

• accelerate recovery time for injuries

  • with bone recovery, nerve repair, range of motion 

• strengthen the immune system

• reduce inflammation

• remove blockages and stagnation in the body

• expand blood vessels and thereby improve circulation wherever applied

• amplify the impact of other pain relief treatments (i.e. far-infrared therapy)

try it for yourself for free

healthyline mats come in many different sizes, styles, and price points and combine various iterations of therapies. some of their mats offer yet another therapy i haven’t yet mentioned (it’s not in the TAO 8040)— it’s called photon light therapy.

i should add that the TAO 8040 is kind of a “big & tall” size that i opted for because i like the roominess. their standard large size TAO is a bit shorter and narrower— and also a couple hundred bucks cheaper than mine. also, a reminder that only the “firm” TAO models include PEMF.

if you want to try a couple of healthyline’s most popular mats— including the exact one i own— at their manhattan showroom (41 west 36th street), just roll up for a free 20 minute session. no appointment needed! you can also take the opportunity to ask all the questions your heart desires. they’re open 10am-7pm every day.

also know that healthyline offers a 45-day risk-free trial. this basically means that you can try a healthyline mat for at least a month and return it for a full refund— minus the cost of return shipping— if you don’t like it or don’t want it for any reason.

do your own research + safety precautions

i advise that you do at least a little of your own research, be mindful of safety precautions, and take note of contraindications. the healthyline website is a great place to start.

discount code + donation of proceeds

yay! if you decide to go for one of these lil dudes, hop over to healthyline.com and use the below discount code at checkout for 10% off and free shipping. from how i understand it, this code is good foreverrrr:

seher10s

for any purchases made through november 15 using the above code, i’ll be donating all my affiliate earnings to a yet-to-be-determined charity or organization focusing on wellness and/or social good.

leave your questions in the comments

drop your questions in the comments. i’ll keep a closer look for the next week to answer your questions (publicly for everyone’s benefit). afterwards, i may leave you to your own devices!

a messenger on the c train

universal confirmation. today it came through my brief but profound encounter with tamara and trinity on the c train.

our connection occurred in immediate, rapid, and seamless succession. the entire interaction was probably no more than a few minutes.

upon walking in, tamara sat right next to me on the fairly empty train and tiny trinity swung around on her mother’s lap in glee. i wasn’t looking at them as they walked in, but i felt their energy pulling me to turn my head.

i looked up and over— trinity’s face was looking up. she was so joyous. “you’re excited, aren’t you?!” she smiled and wiggled around a bit more. 

tamara then fully flung us into the vortex we’d collectively activated; she began talking as if she were reciting something just for me.

‘telepathy? i believe we [humans] were originally telepathic but were socialized out of it for economic gain.’

she’d seen the google search results for “telepathy” on my phone; up until that point, i was fully engrossed in deciding whether or not to post the above graphic. as part of this process, i’d looked up the dictionary definition of telepathy to decide if i should post the graphic with or without explanation. would people be able to connect with such an “out there” declaration? and per my last post, would they get it? did *i* even get it? similar to my poem-quote thingies, the phrases for my word illustrations come largely from spontaneous, intuitive downloads.

i then flipped my phone screen to the graphic: “telepathy is natural.” the words encompassed the exact sentiment she’d almost compulsively given me a mini speech on. i told her the universe had clearly sent her to me as confirmation.

she began asking me about myself and i wanted to know more about her. my stop came within seconds. though i wanted to skip my stop and talk more, i made the split second decision that it was more “appropriate” to carry on with my intended route. i left with great hesitation, lingering outside the door as i waved goodbye.

“post it!” tamara yelled out, smiling.

some people who cross our paths are meant more as messengers. fitting that the sweet fleeting moments we share are a beauty their own.

<3

love is

being in love is a fractional concept; a limited attempt to grasp and express love’s infinity.

there is constriction in its selectivity, its specificity. an innocent cloudiness in the bliss. we think we’ve found home. in a way, we have.

being in love feels more like a stepping stone, a window. the vibration of another resonates with a matching counterpart within us— we vibrate. this feeling: a taste of all-permeating divine oneness. we are in recognition, remembrance of our true nature. to love and to be loved is a mirroring.

our loves are not “the ones,” exceptional unicorns uniquely deserving of our bright eyes. our loves are guides and messengers of the truth of what and who we all are. the truth of all beings: that we are love and our fabric is a single shared universal consciousness.

experiencing love is an awakening. it is an expansion that will always live with us should we choose to accept this gift. the loss of a body or a relationship can never destroy or negate the opening that was created.

being brave for love in all forms at every opportunity, without stifling it by qualification; our hearts flower open more each time, breath becomes easier. life becomes more of a being and a knowing than a doing. there is freedom.

i find myself leaning towards the softness and sweetness of simply being unconditional love; where we are deeply “in love” with all beings, all at once, at all times, without exception. i think it’s the secret to all things.

<3

hello, shadow.

i’ve been hearing the word “negative” a lot in the wellness space recently; negative feelings, negative energy, negative people, negative habits, etcetera.

to call something negative is to negate it— to remove credence and worthiness from it. it is a dangerous judgment that we  casually make on all sorts of things, people, and situations on a daily basis.

as you may have read on a recent post about  permission and empowerment, i believe our words impact our subconscious and well-being more than we realize.

what actually happens when label our feelings, for example, as “negative?” well, our subconscious becomes conditioned to believe that these particular feelings suck. and then we may be led to believe that we suck, or are weak, or are failures. it doesn’t matter if these beliefs reach our conscious minds or not— our subconscious, the chief control center that pulls our lil human puppet strings, will be operating on these beliefs.

okay, so let’s say a person’s subconscious has decided they are whack as hell because they have challenging feelings they’ve judged as “negative” (and then probably suppressed or brushed aside). let’s say that this person’s conscious mind believes that they mostly like themselves. let’s posit this person also happens to be simultaneously living their best life on the outside— because that high-functioning “fight” of fight-flight-freeze fame is some real ass shit when your subconscious is trying to overcome your conditioning by giving you the illusion of safety...

what can happen from here is that the suppressed emotions and unchecked self-judgments can turn into mental or physical illness. they can also turn into chronic, seemingly random “the world is against me” life patterns— in relationships, career, whatever. these are classic examples of stagnant or blocked energy/qi/life force being expressed via the body-mind connection.

that’s poo, you guys! you know what’s more fun? deciding that our “negative” emotions are not fucking negative. they just *are*— they simply exist. what our challenging or lower-vibrational emotions actually are are *information.* they’re a little autonomic flag or response that goes off to tell us that there’s something to look at— that something within us is out of alignment. both internal and external stimuli, as we know, can trigger these flags.

when we allow our understanding of challenging emotions to be that simple, we take the charge and judgment and feelings of failure and overwhelm off of them. doesn’t “challenging” sound more accurate in this context? what we’ve historically called “negative” emotions are actually emotions that are challenging us to stop and pay attention to what is challenging us deeper within.

this is shadow work. there is a reason why i made the background of this graphic a bright, optimistic yellow. because shadow work— going deep inside our “dark,” hidden places— can be *simultaneously* nerve-wracking, scary, exciting, life-giving, confusing, nourishing, illuminating, intimidating, empowering, and even joyous. the binary of this experience itself is the heart of shadow work: the recognition and compassionate acceptance of the inherent duality of the earth plane and the human experience. we can hold seemingly opposing forces at once— and when we do, we can let out a deep sigh of relief. we are still here, we are still whole.

as someone who devoted about half a year in 2016 to go deep into my shadow— i kind of made healing my job— i can tell you that it is profoundly liberating, comforting, and transformational. funny, because it was only when some people close to me judged me (out of concern and a desire to help) for being “too deep in it” that i felt devastated and started spiraling; i was the greatest mess for those two weeks that i chose to accept their assessment that i was wallowing and attached to my pain.

and this is what causes most of us further pain when addressing pain— the judgment of the pain itself and the shame that we are feeling it. this response creates contraction, which in addition to amplifying the pain, restricts the healing process. healing requires the opposite of contraction: expansion.

once i decided that i no longer believed their judgment, i immediately came back into my power; i allowed myself to embrace my deep *knowing* that i was in fact sitting squarely inside my pain so i could offer it recognition, honor, love, compassion, and space to fully express itself— and in so doing, i was alchemizing this energy, freeing it from contraction back to its natural and neutral state of “is-ness” (the natural state of all beings).

now coming back full circle to applied practice per the language piece;  particularly when speaking about personal and interpersonal development work, i do my best to avoid “negative” as a term. instead i try to use phrases like the following:

• lower-vibrational energy
• challenging emotions
• non-resonant people
• limiting beliefs

even though these aren’t perfect themselves (because labeling is a function of separation and supports the illusion of 3d duality— all is ultimately neutral and oneness), i believe they have a much lower charge than “negative.” really, you can use any of the above prefixes interchangeably for a variety of uses.

less limiting language and harsh self-judgments, more loving, accepting, and seeing the whole as all parts worthy! there are no mistakes, all is by design. <3

living the feeling first: a means to manifestation

i’ve been thinking about joy lately, especially as it being a way of manifesting our dreams even before they materially come to fore;

a couple nights ago, i picked up the book creating money by sanaya roman after a long while. i re-read my notes and a bit more of the book. i’m only about 20 pages in; i tend to read very intentionally, stop to reflect a lot, and simultaneously take notes.

in my review, i was reminded of a powerful perspective shift:

i manifest best when i choose to *right now* genuinely live out the higher qualities i believe money (or whatever i’m looking to manifest) will bring into my life.

an exercise + illustration:

• think of something you’d like to manifest

• what higher qualities do you think that manifestation will bring into you and your life?

• what are some easily accessible ways you can bring those qualities into your life now— today, this week, in this moment?

unfolding the perspective shift:

• i want more money because i believe it will bring me freedom.

• i realize that i can also easily access the feeling of freedom when i’m being silly, when i’m being fully myself, when i see children being free, when i deeply connect with someone in a way that i can almost touch the entire universe in that moment

• when i choose to be in the vibration of freedom *now*, i am calling in the matching/correlating vibration of that which i desire. and because i am coming from a place of authentic connection to source, i am simultaneously manifesting 1) what i *really, actually* want and 2) more precisely for my highest good.

before finding this book, i intuitively created a similar practice and paired it with intentional action towards manifesting the money i needed. with this way, i catapulted myself out of major, heart-wrenching brokenness in early 2017.

it was a time where every other day i was getting notices of bills being declined, my credit cards were maxed out, i had no idea how i’d be paying rent, and my cash was just enough to feed myself.  it was the closest i’d ever been to feeling like i could soon be out of choices— and would possibly need to move back to cali to live with my parents.

i decided that if this was it, i was going to respond in the best way i possibly could and opt out of weaponizing my pain against myself. i was going to live my best life with what i had been given. it almost felt like that choice was all i had left.

i chose to:

1. live in joy anyway, because i was alive— that was something i did have

2. try my best to turn things around— i did have agency over my actions

3. accept any outcome with grace— i always have a choice in how to respond

from this space, i found myself the happiest and most magnetic i had ever been— socially, financially, and with the opportunities that flowed to me like a force of nature (because it literally was).

since then, my path has ebbed and flowed as i continue to dismantle old programming and belief systems. however, now i have the gift of the experience and evidence of what is possible. i know what i can access when i am in flow. i know that making *who i choose to show up as* my starting point is what truly creates the type of life-affirming magic that is beyond dreams.

the belief that something outside of us will give us the higher qualities we desire is false; if we do end up manifesting what we think we want while we are out of alignment, it’s always ultimately a lesson of some sort. sometimes we can be taken through a long journey before we realize we are still unhappy and unfulfilled. think about the loads of celebrities who have all their “dreams” come true, only to feel more alone and lost than ever. most might not show it, but this phenomenon is very very real.

dreams without grounding in your higher qualities usually end up empty.

if i lack freedom in my life already— before having the money i desire— deep down i will continue to lack freedom even once i have said money; that is, until i practice cultivating freedom from within and with what is already available to me.

so, let’s ask ourselves:

how am i choosing to engage my most basic blessings on a day to day?

how am i showing up as “the person i think i’ll be when i have everything i want” *today*— right now, in this moment?

much love <3

spontaneous crystal therapy

photo // pinterest

my crystal bowl has sat there for years, relatively untouched; presumably clearing and shifting energetic fields unseen and unknown to me.

the other day i was drawn to one crystal, then another, and another. the minute i grasped the trio in my palm, i began shaking (as i do at times when energy is shifting/clearing/generating) and underwent my first spontaneous intuitive crystal healing; i was pretty sure i wasn't done and 15-20 minutes later i went through one of my craziest shake sessions to date.

i kept this trio by my bedside and near me during the day for the following couple days during which i still felt a charge/connection. today i picked them up, felt nothing immediately, and became quite clear our work was done for now.

as i set them down back into my bowl, i stayed for a minute to see if any other crystals wanted to connect with me. i grabbed a black tourmaline (grounding/protecting) first and placed it in my left palm, then the white selenite (elevating/opening); recognizing the duality in color and vibration, i placed the selenite in my right palm. again, an immediate energetic response.

as i sat down, i placed the tourmaline on the left of my seat and the selenite on the right; and surely, i felt the crystals interacting to create a potent energetic field, forming something of a 180 degree arc around and above me; i'm buzzing as i write this.

a reminder that all in our lives ripens when it is time for us to receive it. 

half of the crystals i've used were gifted to me, half i've had for years; we came together for these moments.

it's really quite surreal to follow your intuition and connectedness as it opens; kind of like the real life magical land i always dreamed about when i was little. i knew it was real.

<3