non-black people of color are not exempt from anti-racist due diligence

non-black people of color:
just because we fall outside
of the black/white binary
does not mean we are exempt
when people drop knowledge
or calls to action
directed at white people
about racism and anti-racism.

you can still be a benefactor and perpetrator of white supremacy even if you are not white. yep, even as a person of color. this is why we need terms like “anti-black racism”— to signify the expanse between this phenomena and racism in general. this is why we must name, explicitly, that black lives matter.

anti-racism is a practice that nbpoc must fervently adopt.

a few years ago, i spoke to former LAPD— a black man— who served on the police force in the 80s and 90s; this all has been happening. state sanctioned lynchings and violence against black people has always been rampant— since before smartphones and the internet.

“all lives matter” is a given, but “black lives matter” is something society apparently needs to be told— over and over and over and over again. the black lives matter movement was started in 2013. their calls for humanity and action have always been the same— calls that somehow largely continued to fall on deaf ears. by some weird pandemic grace, the world is now listening.

for non-black people of color who think they are exempt— we should be listening just as keenly as white people; we are in a unique position to be allies to black folk and are in just as unique a position to cause harm if we don’t appropriately assume our responsibilities. in certain ways, the harm we’ve caused and can further cause black people is worse than the harm caused by our white counterparts— it is betrayal. in sharing an oppressor, black people are our siblings in struggle— whether or not we are even consciously aware of all the ways in which we, too, are oppressed.

white supremacy is a system, an ethos, a virus that’s woven itself into our very fabric; though we benefit from it in different ways and to a lesser degree than white folk, white supremacy makes nbpoc instruments of oppression in our own right— whether or not we realize it;

by being a “non-racist” nbpoc, your silence and inaction aids the oppression of black people via passive complicity, which activates and perpetuates harm; when non-black people of color think they are exempt from their responsibility to be anti-racist, we become de facto weapons for white supremacy;

whether or not we intend to, we become proof for white systems of power: “hey, these other browns aren’t really saying or doing anything, so looks like they probably agree with us; whatever those black people over there are up in arms about must not really matter— they’re probably just being extra.” in general, white people know that nbpoc are also oppressed; so when we are problematic, even out of our own ignorance, they co-opt our shittiness to buoy their own conscious and subconscious anti-black agendas.

it can sometimes feel complicated to also call out non-black people of color when naming the work white people need to do. so, when you see white people being called out or called on about racism and anti-racism, particularly by black folk and nbpoc, do an honest check in; you might find that you need to call yourself out, too.

i regularly quietly take notes, check myself on my internalized shit, and make adjustments to my racist thoughts, beliefs, and behavior. i invite you to do the same.

anti-blackness is the root of all racism and white supremacy. so i do not stutter when i say that our collective liberation as human beings is inextricably tied to the liberation of black people; none of us are free until all of us are free— there are so many levels to this, that i can’t even begin to articulate them. white people? prisoners of their own racism, ancestry, and enculturation— they, too, are not free.

though our essential nature is freedom, the history and current climate of this earth do not support such an existence at present. none of us are truly free in this human form right now. none. of. us.

though our current reality is bleak, it is not static; we can raise our vibration, our speech, our thought, our beliefs, our actions— all of it. this is anti-racism work. liberation work. non-black people of color have remained silent, inactive, and complicit in regards to anti-black racism and white supremacy for too too long.

my people. feel me, get with me: let’s create new norms that mean something. tell your socials, tell your mama, tell your cousin, tell your coworker where brown folk stand, and let's get to work.

remembering your light.

lightbeam
sunstream;
yes, you.
yes, you.

lightwork is shadow work. shadow work is lightwork.

in oneness, we are not separate from seemingly dual concepts or from one another; all exists at once simultaneously in wholeness— a continuous flow of becoming and unbecoming.

choose your light. even in shame, even in anger, even in fear.

use it to offer yourself perspective, including a reminder of your true essence and why you exist.

allow its sweetness and gentleness to enrich and fortify your journey ahead.

and just the same— allow it to illuminate your shadows and ours.

there is joy in truth, even when it hurts.

note: this post is far from an invitation to spiritually bypass— please read carefully.

learn to become a self-starter with your self-inquiry

an explanation is
not always a service;
some things
are best discovered inwardly.

inner work, deeper work, honest work, more rigorous work. based on our consumption habits and devolved attention spans, sometimes receiving highly abbreviated educational tidbits can in fact be a disservice to our actual development.

caught in the flurry of our manic scrolling and app-ing, our illusion of education exists in transience; we often take things in intellectually and then file them away somewhere to essentially be forgotten— failing to deepen our awareness and understanding, failing to put anything into actual practice.

this is one of the reasons that with my typical poem/quote thingies on instagram, i originally did not put captions and have slowed down on doing that again.

there is immeasurable value in rigorously engaging self-inquiry on your own; learning to develop your own discernment about when to self-trigger a self-inquiry is straight-up invaluable. in order to be productive agents of change, within and without, we must learn to self-inquire without prompting, directing, or instruction.

yeah, it’s a tall order and everybody won’t get there. but for those who would like to meet me in community, self-inquiry and self-accountability is what imma be dishing. that’s what i am calling in for you— for us.

for me— know that helping you connect more deeply with your own self-inquiry journey + your truth, and bringing our individual reflections into community dialogue (to help better understand and serve our collective), is becoming revealed to me as part of my purpose.

this is the deepest work: awareness work. tuning yourself to know what kind of questions to ask and knowing when to seek out more robust sources (beyond social media) when you need to better understand something (intellectually, energetically, physically, emotionally, or otherwise).

thinking that following mad accounts on instagram and watching all my ig stories all day is good enough for your knowledge intake and reflection is a gross miscalculation.

it is essential to prioritize your personal journey towards a certain sovereign wisdom. without really really learning to tap into, flex, and strengthen our inner inquiry muscle, we can never truly understand or shift anything; we’re just always looking outside, following like robots— turning one machine into another. note: machine = the system.

step into your wisdom, step into your power. from here, you may seek out the wisdom of others with a greater and more meaningful intention. let’s do work, bb’s.

taking credit for our gifts

my virtues
are not merits
i have personally derived;
they are gifts.

people have often told me how they admire how self aware i am and how committed i am to “doing the work.” sometimes as they marvel in awe. there was a time where i pridefully took all credit for this. but as i evolved in my overall awareness, i realized that self awareness and doing the work are largely not a choice for me— it is how i am wired. these are tools and gifts that i have been given.

it dawned on me that the way “ignorance is bliss” for some, ignorance usually results in sheer torture for me; my hyper self awareness persists through all seasons, regardless of what my ego wants. being aware and tuned to the vibration of truth— often painfully so— is my default.

and so, my self-work is often the result of my desperate attempt to resolve some ever present suffering i’ve been unable to silence and suppress. and even when i do succeed at some version of suppression, the truth remains in the back of my mind along with deep unhappiness.

simultaneously, i recognize that i get to take credit for rising to the challenge and making the decision to do the work. because even despite my nature, i can still decide to opt out; there is plenty of work i trade for the familiar comfort of my suffering; these are my edges, i’m working on them— also often by eventual force and compulsion.

the universe ultimately always kicks my ass out of my limiting habituation— just as it is in this new decade. much death is happening to make way for a rebirth i’ve been hiding from for the last few years.

all this to say: often what we pridefully claim as our self-derived virtues are actually gifts. these gifts are here to help us realize our full potential so we can be of service. not so we can be delusional, self-important, holier than thou assholes. i ain’t special. i just got some tools (that i have a complicated relationship with) for the purpose of my soul mission, which, by the way, isn’t even about me— it’s about us.

when the shine is triggering

it's not always because of a judgment against you;

sometimes they are triggered by your light.

sometimes we think we know why we’re mad but we’re just... hella wrong.

sometimes we can’t help but assess people through the lens of our pain and feelings of inadequacy.

so sometimes when a glimmer feels hard to come by, we end up feeling hurt when we see someone else shining. this often subconscious trigger might come with a whole slew of very convincing stories and judgments we then make up about that person.

if this is you, keep perspective and take some space. allow others their right to be well while also being super gentle and honest with yourself. this actually isn’t about them at all. you know this. excavate. what’s missing for you? what do you actually need? give that to yourself. remember that this trigger is wholly about your relationship with you.

and if you’re the one in your light with folks acting funny around you: be compassionate with both yourself and others. while it might seem like these people are judging you, they are most likely only judging themselves (whether or not they realize it). examine if your own triggers are showing up here as well— perhaps around needs for approval and belonging. if you felt impacted in any way, also inquire about how that connects with where you’re at with boundaries— physically, emotionally, energetically.

big hugs. we all deserve our own light. sometimes reconnecting with it is a thing. sometimes keeping it is a thing. that’s okay. it’s okay. all our experiences are okay.

gratitude?

you know how everyone’s been talking about being mad grateful for what they do have right now? i didn’t really relate— and still don’t always— when folks talk about gratitude. i felt and still sometimes feel shame for ‘being an ungrateful ass.’

here’s the thing: honesty with your emotions is super important right now (and in general). it can be hard to connect with gratitude when you are trying to survive in your own right, when you are ANGRY, when you feel betrayed, confused, resentful, lost, abandoned. by the system, for starters.

some of us are anxious, depressed, barely functional and just trying to hold it together. that’s okay. lovingly and gently witness that without wallowing in it. there is a difference. remain aware, compassionate, and PERSIST. you *will* ultimately move through.

our journeys and feelings that come with are relative to self. always remember that when you try to judge yourself and compare.

gratitude is absolutely a valuable and powerful practice, but if you’re not connecting with it, that is perfectly alright. you can try again later— or not. many paths, y’all.

if you don’t feel gratitude right now, allow the other emotions that are currently present within you to exist. don’t go into shame if you can help it— shame actually happens to be the least supportive emotion. if you’re in shame, witness that compassionately as well. we’ve all been there.

feel like screaming or taking a very long nap or both? i’m tired, too. you’re allowed to be fucking pissed.

anger is a catalyst and can be a turning point if consciously harnessed. anger is also recognized as the beginnings of change on the hawkins scale, which measures the relative energetic frequencies of emotions.

the point is to not *stay* angry or in our lower vibrational emotions. we get to use such emotions instead as an opportunity to learn more about ourselves and practice self-compassion. from here, we begin to find our way through— and beyond. to our true selves, to our peace.

some version of the same very specific thing at once.

it’s so surreal to me that we are all going through some version of the same very specific thing at once.

i know it might sound weird to say, but there’s something poetic about that. really distills us to our common humanity, co-existing in this fragile, precious life.

some prompts for us to consider at this time:

• with the opportunity to stand still, what’s been revealed to you about existence? yours, ours, the planet’s?

• with this extra space and time, what could you gift yourself more spaciousness and presence with? what does thinking about that feel like? is there discomfort there? if so, talk to it gently and ask it why it’s there and what it needs.

• in what ways has this experience reminded you or taught you about our common humanity? did any illusion bubbles burst for you? how does it feel to not live with that illusion anymore?

• is there a part of you that is relieved that you might not *have to* live your life as you had been? what are you relieved about maybe not having to deal with anymore? what might life look like if you found a way where you could choose to opt out of those things?

• does the possibility of your life blowing up and starting over fresh simultaneously terrify and excite you? why excited? dig into that. look for versions of starting fresh that warm your heart, create ease within, and light a spark.

• who are the first people you wanted to call? who makes you feel seen, safe, loved, considered? who do you feel most compelled to do that for in return?

so many more. will leave us with that for now. much love <3