begin again.

beginning again is an act of love;

start over as many times as you need.

picking yourself up off the floor, whether for the first time or the hundredth, is a significant victory. every. single. time.

self-compassion, self-forgiveness, self-regard, self-belief, self-worth. betting on you, honoring you. beginning again is all these things. it is reinvesting in yourself.

i will not give up on myself, no matter the road ahead, because i love me in a way that transcends understanding of the mind. i don’t need to get it all right now to know that i am supposed to be here and that my light is important.

starting from scratch. honoring failure and adjusting course. throwing out the thousandth draft and hitting pen to paper once more. a new outlook on romance. reinvention. giving that talk another try in the morning. one more treatment. another application. a clean slate. giving yourself permission. forgiveness. choosing to wake up each day. tearing down the system and building a new one. iteration. perspective. divorce. the seventh business. a new city. blowing it up and starting over. a reimagined friendship. a new, totally different dream. ending the hiatus. digging through the archives. remembering who you were. who you are. trusting them, even though it stings.

we begin again in so many ways. love you love you.

tell the truth.

my carpal tunnel type hand and arm cramps kicked back in recently for the first time in a few years. it forced me to use my phone and social media less than the excessive amounts i normally do.

even though my hand aches quite a bit at times, i am grateful for the message of the pain. i’m grateful for even a semi-break— better than none at all.

what a fucking relief. the shift in my mood and energy any time i temper my phone and/or social media use is wild.

social media and mobile phone addiction is real. over the last couple years, it’s really come through for me as a disruptive and troubling force. still sorting/not sorting/probably avoiding this whole thing.

that’s my truth to share of late. what would you like to tell the truth about? if you feel called, i encourage you to bring your truth into this space as well as into your material world life, and let the load off. others may well need to hear it, including me <3

the courage to be disliked and stand alone

a few weeks ago, a book titled the courage to be disliked sprang up on a facebook ad for me. i was so moved by just the title alone, that i posted it to my instagram stories immediately.

the message became louder and louder over the course of that day and the days that followed. signs appeared on my path in an uncannily steady stream:

a few hours later, a friend with some extra audible credits made an offer to gift some folks an audio book of their choice. i looked up the top 10 audible books, which happened to include brené brown’s dare to lead. i reviewed her other recent titles and came across braving the wilderness. the premise: “belonging” by belonging to yourself first— especially when it means sometimes standing alone in order to fully rest in your truth. naturally, i knew which title i was supposed to request.

that evening, an article on arundhati roy came up on my facebook feed. the article was titled as a direct quote from roy: the point of a writer is to be unpopular

late that night / the following morning, i ended up in an interaction that prompted me posting a series of instagram stories about boundaries when people want access to your contacts and/or resources. this is a topic i’d been dragging my feet to speak on for a year in fear of anyone feeling offended, singled out, or triggered. sharing these thoughts definitely required channeling my personal courage to be disliked. interestingly enough, these posts ended up being some of my most popular posts on stories— by far. they also potentially resulted in some unfollows. my previous blog post shares more about the topic if you’re interested.

that afternoon, while searching for something unrelated in a facebook group, i came across the courage to be disliked once again— this time, as part of a recommendation someone was making. casual.

the next day, i found a piece of paper in my purse— it was from a discussion i’d facilitated a couple weeks prior at the wing. at the close of the discussion, i prompted guests to write down a commitment to themselves. we mixed up all the bits of paper in a bowl and on their way out, folks pulled out a random person’s commitment. here’s what i found:

“i will acknowledge my whole being— stop disowning parts of myself just to save the discomfort of someone else.”

my takeaways here:

i need to stand in my truth (sometimes alone)— even and especially when it’s scary.

and i think i’m here to tell you that if this all resonates, you do, too.

<3