be tender with the spaces in between
stop and
look at them
hold them
get to know them
be there for them;
they are a thing worth love.
to be real, my whole last few years have felt like a big ass in between; transitional. liminal. unclear. slow as entire fuck.
it’s required a ton of patience from me and endless reminders to not judge myself or the process. a lot of losing hope and then fighting to gain it back— often only sort of as time goes on and i become weary. relative neutrality or not feeling bad is usually a win i happily take.
with so much time passed, i realize there is nothing left but surrender (and also blowing up the paradigm of my life— more on that one day, once i’ve cracked that code). in this space i remember that *this* is my life; whatever i got right now is it— however it is. and it is blessed because i get to have it.
so then, how am i spending time with what i’ve got right now? am i going to keep just watching my life pass me by, mad and confused that my life and i are not doing what i want at any given moment— or am i going to choose to look at each in between moment and each in between feeling that i don’t fully understand right now with love?
if i can keep that glimmer of hope, i can remember that these in between moments are my journey, my messy parts— my opportunities for reflection, learning, and transformation; this is all part of a story i’ll tell one day. but i’ve got to have the presence, courage, grace, and faith to live it first.