i often don’t know how i’m going to pay my bills. sometimes i don’t know if i will. but i always do.
knowing i always have a choice in how to expend my energy, i respond by orienting my thoughts towards what i *do* want and what i *can* do.
it saves me and keeps me sane every time.
in the last 9 years of being a full-time freelancer, i’ve learned to shift many of my perspectives in order to survive this whimsical, demanding, unpredictable life i’ve chosen.
so now, i stop to take a moment of gratitude every time i deposit a check and every time i pay my rent.
most recently, i’m recognizing that the life i’ve had for the last few years and the life i have today, *is* my life.
doesn’t mean i can’t change things, that i can’t fulfill dreams, that i can’t grow, that i can’t want more.
it does mean that the life to be lived and be present in and grateful for is the one that i have right now. like, now now.
this is it.
this. is. it.
be here now.
wherever you go, there you are.
all such things collide *here*
what are you doing with the you you’ve got right now?
i am being nice to myself? present to myself? fully experiencing myself, others, and this world? both the grandeur and minutiae?
presence. that’s my word for the year, though i try to escape it for words like “abundance” sometimes. presence chose me. it knows i need it.
full time freelance life has forced me to take stock of my blessings much more than i used to. and i’m ever grateful for that, too.
best wishes to all my creative comrades out here living to dream and dreaming to live. <3